[Histonet] Formaldehyde Ban - - at funerals ? almost funny.
jkiernan <@t> uwo.ca
Sat Aug 18 23:51:59 CDT 2007
> This ban (if it really exists) refers to embalming bodies
> in funeral ceremonies. ...
To the sound of mournful music the lead-lined oaken coffin was slowly carried up the aisle and placed on a plinth before the altar. The undertaker, using a stainless steel brace and bit that shone like burnished silver, drilled a hole in the lid and inserted a large plastic funnel. His burly assistant slowly and reverently poured in fifty-four litres of environmentally friendly embalming fluid, warranted free of formaldehyde, while the choir sang six verses of "For all the saints," obscuring the gurglings from the funnel.
The undertaker then took a cork, carried to him on a satin cushion by one of the youngest relatives of the deceased. He elegantly plugged the hole in the coffin's lid while his assistant inconspicuously carried away the funnel and the six dozen-size cardboard boxes of empty vodka bottles. After several long speeches and a brief prayer for the soul of the deceased, the coffin containing the newly embalmed body was taken to the crematorium. This deprived the cemetery worms of a free feast and booze-up, but they had no way of knowing that.
(Apologies to Sylvie Krin for copying his style but not very well. That's for Brit histonetters and expats who read Private Eye. )
(Both Brit and Canadian)
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